Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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