guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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