his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's blow job season.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
