Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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