i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize