I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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