I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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