I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
