I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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