haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
