Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
