As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
