i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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