How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
