Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
