there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
