We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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