Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
