i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
