Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
