Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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