Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
