I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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