nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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