dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
