According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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