Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
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I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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