Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
