so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
