its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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