Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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