I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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