there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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