Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i came on her dog
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
