You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
