she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016