he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....