After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
