I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
