haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
