Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
