oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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