I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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