you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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