I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
