Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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