I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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