There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
