I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
