He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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