The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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