I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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