After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
