It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
