Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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