Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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