xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
