You're completely useless in the revolution.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
