Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
