he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize