Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
