some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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