ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
