you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize