He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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