I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He felt like a one man threesome
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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