Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
